To Be Loved or To Lead: What’s Your Goal?

"Many women come to me for help with their dogs. When we broach the inevitable subject of discipline, most women start to shy away. They want better control, but they don’t want to discipline their dogs as a means of getting that control. As I probe to find out why, I find a recurrent answer."

Many women come to me for help with their dogs.  When we broach the inevitable subject of discipline, most women start to shy away.  They want better control, but they don’t want to discipline their dogs as a means of getting that control.  As I probe to find out why, I find a recurrent answer.  “I’m afraid he won’t like me”, they say.

Have you ever known a woman whose only goal was to be loved by a man?  When their sole goal is to be loved, women do stupid things. They come across as needy, clingy and weak.  Decent men hate needy, weak women and so do dogs!  If being loved by your dog is your only goal, I’m here to say you may never achieve it.

The irony is that to be loved, one must first be strong.  Only when you take control of your dog and his behavior will he truly love and respect you.  Just as good men are attracted to women with principles, confidence and standards, so are dogs.  Nature loves strength; it hates weakness.

Instead of trying to get your dog to love you, try being a stronger leader. Stop accommodating his every whim.  Set your boundaries and your rules.  Enforce them quietly, but consistently.  Give where you must; take where you can.  Don’t be a doormat, be a Diva.

THAT’S how you get a dog to love you!

 

Picture of Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”. Camilla and her Dairydell Method have been featured in numerous newspaper and magazine articles, as well as on San Francisco TV’s Evening Magazine and View From the Bay. Camilla loves teaching – whether it’s dogs, their owners, or the horses you see her riding in Dairydell’s beautiful arena. When she’s not training, teaching or riding, Camilla is writing about her favorite subject: dogs and their people! Camilla holds professional memberships in both the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors (NADOI) and the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP).
Picture of Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”.

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